Name
Who wants to know?
Grievances
- Mispronunciations of words like: Nuclear and Aluminum
- Phrases like: "At this point in time" (as opposed to this point in another time?)
- People who talk all the time but say nothing
- Athletes who are paid millions to act like asses
- Televised Golf
- Televised Bowling
- Televised Figure Skating
- Competition Ballroom Dancing (Ooooh, could I please crush my hand with a sledgehammer!?)
Holiday
Laws
- If everything appears to be going well, you've obviously overlooked
something.
- A 300 dollar picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.
- Unbreakable toys can be used to break other toys.
- If it jams, force it, if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
- The more decrepit the vehicle, the more maniacal the driver.
- A dropped tool will always land where it can do the most damage. Also known
as the law of selective gravitation.
- A broken appliance will always work perfectly when demonstrated to the
repairman.
- A short cut is the longest distance between two points.