Kitchen Bitch KB-200 Undercabinet Microwave Oven
  • Exclusive NO-GARD technology allows microwave energy normally confined to the oven interior to migrate to the outside of the oven permitting a more even cooking.  In addition, the excess microwave energy can help keep you warm if you stand close enough.  (Patent and FCC approval pending).  Oven shown at right is actually in operation!


    • Surgeon General's Warning: This appliance has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory technicians who used it to microwave their popcorn.

  • Top oven vent design allows excess smoke and heat from the unit's highly cluttered electronics to escape, and provides cooling to those vital parts to dramatically extend the life of the oven to 2 years!
  • Optional 40,000,000 candlepower strobe light and 120 dB fog horn remind you when the clock needs resetting after a power outage
  • Dimensions:  36"W x 12"H x 56"D
  • Power requirements: 3 Phase 440V, 14800 Watts
  • Manufacturers Suggested Retail: $1500
  • Warranty:  2 weeks

 
 
 
 
Kitchen Bitch KB-9000 Halogen Top Range
 
  • Large oven window design allows easy viewing of interior fires.
  • Optional mini-fireman's ax permits entry to oven when excessive heat causes door to jam.
  • Optional bear trap shown at right trains children and pets quickly and efficiently that an oven is not a toy.  In addition, the trap will disable the offending pet or family member so you can determine who has been screwing with the appliance.
  • Optional foam fire suppresion system (not shown) permits automatic extinguising of common fires.
  • Exclusive temperature control offers temperature ranges between 200° F and 1400° F
  • Dimensions:  36"W x 48"H x 52"D
  • Power Requirements:  3 phase 12,470 volt circuit, 144,600 Watts
  • Manufacturer's Suggested Retail:  $2400
  • Warranty:  1 Month

 

 
 
 
 
Kitchen Bitch KB-425 Side-by-Side Refrigerator/Freezer
 
  • Ice/cold water/liquid nitrogen dispenser built into freezer door.
  • Exclusive Built in VCR and Monitor permit convenient viewing of movies so constant running between den and kitchen becomes unnecessary.
  • Optional satellite link (shown at right) permits viewing of satellite broadcasts on refrigerator and allows monitoring of refrigerator/freezer temperatures from an authorized Kitchen Bitch security station.
  • Dual top and bottom vent designs allow heat and smoke to escape, more than doubling the life of the appliance (average product life is 4 weeks).
  • Dimensions:  36"W x 84"H x 96"D (168 cu. ft.)
  • Power Requirements:  220V, 9000 Watts
  • Manufacturer's Suggested Retail:  $57,000
  • Warranty:  2 Days

 
 
 
Kitchen Bitch KB-24 2 Cycle Washer
  • Patent Pending titanium spikes deter children and pets from climbing on washer.  Optional 100,000 volt security system charges each spike to a near-lethal potential, further inhibiting play on the appliance.
  • Exclusive DEATH-WRINGER technology spins the washer drum at over 33,000 RPM squeezing 99% of water out of garments and virtually eliminating the need for a dryer.  Caution:  This washer should not be used to wash silk, cotton, wool, or burlap.  Safe for all polyester washables.  Care should be taken to ensure colorfastness of fabrics.  Tear a piece of the garment off in an inconspicuous place and wash it first.  Safety goggles should be worn at all times when the washer is in operation.
  • Optional drain port allows waste water to drain automatically.
  • Optional high pressure sprayer nozzle (not shown) may be used to blast stubborn stains from garment.  High pressure sprayer nozzle requires high pressure water pump capable of delivering 200 GPM.
  • Dimensions:  42"W x 72"H x 62" D
  • Power Requirements:  440V 3 phase, 10,000 Watts
  • Manufacturer's Suggested Retail:  $7299
  • Warranty: 2 Weeks

 
 
 
Kitchen Bitch KB-44 4 Cycle Dryer
 
  • Patent pending INCINERON feature uses special heating elements coupled with fuel injection ports and high pressure pumps to allow the internal temperature of the dryer to reach over 900° F without burning clothes!  Caution:  This dryer should not be used to dry silk, cotton, wool, polyester, nylon or burlap.  Safe for all metal apparel.  Fire retardant gear with a continuous fire rating of 600° F should be worn all at times when the dryer is in operation.
  • Exclusive SUBMARINE HATCH door design ensures that clothes stay in the dryer and no air exchange takes place during patent pending INCINERON phase.
  • Optional Barber Pole (shown at right) entertains children while dryer is in operation.
  • Optional Vice Clamp allows final wring of clothes before drying.  Also useful for holding dangerously heavy loads precariously above the child-entertaining Barber Pole.
  • Dimensions:  42"W x 72"H x 62" D
  • Power Requirements:  14,400 V 3 phase, 19,000 Watts
  • Fuel Requirements:  Unleaded with octane rating of 108 or higher.
  • Manufacturer's Suggested Retail:  $19,000
  • Warranty: 2 Weeks