Elvis Shortliver is waiting in line for the new Star Wars movie. He's drinking a SuperSize Slurpee (grape flavor) and playing with his light saber which doubles as a hot poker.
Obiwan Kenobi usethisforce@mylightsaber.com
 

I recently spotted Elvis Shortliver in Yevgeny Primakov's armpit. I wanted to send Jesse Jackson to negotiate for his release, but Yevgeny wouldn't hear me out. Any suggestions?
Fezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sidewinder_71@hotmail.com
 

I was watching an episode of "America's Favorite Has Beens" (UPN on Friday Night) and I THOUGHT I saw Elvis peeking out from under William Shatner's toupee. (It might have been a rodent of some kind though.)
Pablo pablo@crapco.com
 

Well I see I'm supposed to report Elvis sightings.... unfortunately I haven't seen him but I do have a mole that slightly resembles him if you take about 10 hits of acid and stand on your head looking sideways at it.... does that count?
FLAGG (mental institution ecscapee)
 

Ever wonder what would happen if Elvis Shortliver married Yoda? Sounds pretty creepy if you ask me.
Jangles
 

You mean he's gone?
pinky
 

I lost my keys the other day. Maybe Elvis is in the same place they are. And if he is, he'll be gone for a long time.
Banjo
 

Umm - I AM RIGHT HERE!
Elvis Shortliver hortliver@hotmail.com