V
I T A L I N F R O M A T I O N If you're having a hard time figuring
out what this all means, here's a good place to start...
Porfessional
Advice! - Since 1998, this website is an original humour site whose main
content focuses on answers to questions submitted by our visitors.
Elvis
Shortliver - A simpleton on the outside, yet unnecessarily complicated
on the inside, Elvis has been answering questions since 1998, after being
kicked out of a tech support intern job at America On Line.
Simian
T. Marmoset - Small, cute, and rarely sober, Simian T. Marmoset is known
for her love of whiskey and Poppin' Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy. She has
been answering questions at Porfessional Advice since 1998 when her contract
with NASA's Shoot a Monkey into Space Program was dissolved.
Jason
X. - A mildly ill-tempered highly radioactive alien hybrid created from
Earth-based DNA. After crashing his ship into the Chernobyl reactor
complex while trying to open a bag of peanuts, he became stranded on Earth
and decided to stay after his ship was repaired. Jason has been answering
questions since 1999, when he abducted Elvis and Simian on the outskirts
of town and they convinced him to work at Snackwurst.
SnackWurst
Food Product Corporation - Initially started out as a small mom & pop
store, but with the help of public shareholders has since grown into the
epitome of a heavily bloated wasteful American conglomerate. They manufacture
inedible food and are the owners of this web site.
Mr.
Lardlumps - Sneaky, inflammatory, able to clear a room quickly, Mr. Lardlumps
has worked for SnackWurst on & off for many years, occasionally filling
in when the regulars get in trouble for some reason or another.
Snaggletooth
- At only 6 years old, Snaggletooth is a seasoned professional here at
Porfessional Advice. Now working in the mail room due to legal issues involving
the hiring of minors, Snaggletooth occasionally fills in to answers questions.
Big
Tad - SnackWurst hired him as a "can-do" man, taking care of odd jobs during
his night shift. Part of his job is to monitor questions submitted into
this site for content. We call him "Big Brother."
Bud
Uglly - An insporation to us all, Mr. Uglly has helped turn the vast wasteland
known as the internet into a gigantic animated gif.
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Porfessional
Advice! - Since 1998, this website is an original humour site whose main
content focuses on answers to questions submitted by our visitors.
Elvis
Shortliver - A simpleton on the outside, yet unnecessarily complicated
on the inside, Elvis has been answering questions since 1998, after being
kicked out of a tech support intern job at America On Line.
Simian
T. Marmoset - Small, cute, and rarely sober, Simian T. Marmoset is known
for her love of whiskey and Poppin' Fresh the Pillsbury Doughboy. She has
been answering questions at Porfessional Advice since 1998 when her contract
with NASA's Shoot a Monkey into Space Program was dissolved.
Jason
X. - A mildly ill-tempered highly radioactive alien hybrid created from
Earth-based DNA. After crashing his ship into the Chernobyl reactor
complex while trying to open a bag of peanuts, he became stranded on Earth
and decided to stay after his ship was repaired. Jason has been answering
questions since 1999, when he abducted Elvis and Simian on the outskirts
of town and they convinced him to work at Snackwurst.
SnackWurst
Food Product Corporation - Initially started out as a small mom & pop
store, but with the help of public shareholders has since grown into the
epitome of a heavily bloated wasteful American conglomerate. They manufacture
inedible food and are the owners of this web site.
Mr.
Lardlumps - Sneaky, inflammatory, able to clear a room quickly, Mr. Lardlumps
has worked for SnackWurst on & off for many years, occasionally filling
in when the regulars get in trouble for some reason or another.
Snaggletooth
- At only 6 years old, Snaggletooth is a seasoned professional here at
Porfessional Advice. Now working in the mail room due to legal issues involving
the hiring of minors, Snaggletooth occasionally fills in to answers questions.
Big
Tad - SnackWurst hired him as a "can-do" man, taking care of odd jobs during
his night shift. Part of his job is to monitor questions submitted into
this site for content. We call him "Big Brother."
Bud
Uglly - An insporation to us all, Mr. Uglly has helped turn the vast wasteland
known as the internet into a gigantic animated gif.